Questions to ask During a Doula Consultation
If you’re looking for a doula it can feel very difficult and overwhelming. As a doula myself, I love to see potential clients reaching out to several people to see who feels like the best fit. I do several consultation zooms a week with potential clients. Some come with a list of questions, and some come with none. Preparing for your consultation helps you walk away with the most data you can to make the decision on who you will entrust to support you during your pregnancy and birth.
I am going to give you a few questions to use and then some other tips I suggest for not only nailing the consultation conversation, but also making the choice that’s right for you.
Questions to Ask a Doula During a Consultation:
What led you to doula work?
Knowing what planted the seed for doula work gives you good insight into a doulas philosophy and what might be important to her. Pain can lead to passion and that will give you some insight into the ways your doula will show up for you.
What is your philosophy of birth?
This is a great follow up to the first question. It is a common question that comes up with this topic but surprisingly not a question I get a lot. A doula’s philosophy of birth is everything. How this question is answered may determine if a doula aligns with your own personal philosophy of birth. Everyone has a philosophy or opinion on how different aspects of life should be – birth work is one of those.
What training and certifications do you hold?
Someone can be a doula without a certification. I don’t think enough parents know this. You may assume that everyone must hold a certification. Anyone who wants to can start a doula business based only on personal experience and internet searches. While that is not necessarily a bad thing – it can be. It means there is no accountability or standard of knowledge. Just as each doula is unique, so are certifying programs. Knowing which one your doula is certified through helps you know what standard of care you will potentially receive.
It’s not uncommon to see doulas start their business after a traumatic birth experience. They may want to redeem what they feel they lost. Pain can develop passion, but, in my opinion, you should grow from it first. Doula’s should NOT be actively trying to heal their own recent birth wounds by stepping into birthwork. It may feel noble but it can lead to imparting trauma or undue worry on clients.
Asking if doulas hold any additional certifications is also wise to understand what other aspects of knowledge they will be able to bring to your birth space. Every doula has different skill sets and life experiences they bring to the table to support you.
Do you support birth at home, hospital, and birth center? And, do you have a preference?
Surprisingly, a lot of doulas are home birth only. Battling hospital bureaucracy can be exhausting and can burn doulas out. I personally feel like a well-rounded doula not only supports at all birthing locations but honors each as a respectable place to birth. Without adequate knowledge and respect of all birthing spaces we can leave home birth or birth center parents needing support they can’t receive because of a doulas lack of comfort in those spaces.
How do you support dads or support people in the experience?
This question gives doulas a chance to share how she may or may not incorporate dad. You want to look for someone who honors dads as active participants in the experience and not just a body in the room. Ask for examples of how they have incorporated dads in past births.
What is one of the most important things you feel you offer your clients?
This gives the doula a chance to share how she might be different from other doulas. What she shares may be the key to help you decide if she is a good fit for you or not.
What are some things you find yourself telling clients regularly?
Every doula has different mantras she repeats to every client. It is a good insight into the type of doula she is. Here are some of the different personas you might find in the birth world:
The Nurturer
This doula type focuses on emotional reassurance and creating a calm environment. She may be more motherly and encouraging in a quiet way.
Warm, gentle, and reassuring
Offers encouragement and comfort
Helps you feel safe and cared for
Great if you want a calming presence
Calm, observant, and unobtrusive
Steps in when needed but doesn't dominate the room
Lets you lead the pace
The Educator
This doula type loves helping you understand your options.
Explains procedures and terminology
Helps you make informed decisions
Reviews evidence-based information
Great if you like to research and understand the "why"
Will likely be one to give you all the options not just to easy to hear ones
Discusses benefits and risks of different options
Helps interpret medical information
Encourages shared decision-making
Great if you appreciate data alongside emotional support
The Coach
This doula style is energetic and motivating.
Keeps you focused during contractions
Guides breathing and movement
Motivates you through labor
Great if you like direct encouragement and structure
Might offer more prenatal appointments in the package to make sure you are well prepared
The Advocate
While doulas don't speak for you or make medical decisions, they can help you speak up for yourself.
Encourages you to ask questions
Helps clarify your preferences
Supports respectful communication with your care team
Great if you want help navigating conversations in the birth room
The Hands-On Comfort Expert
This doula specializes in physical comfort.
Skilled in massage and counterpressure
Suggests labor positions
Uses tools like birth balls, peanut balls, heat, or cold therapy
Great if you want continuous physical support
Here are some additional tips to help you score the doula that will be the perfect fit for you:
Social reputation:
Ask for doula recommendations on local mom groups. Just because a doula is recommended doesn’t automatically mean she is the best. Look for recommendations from other doulas or midwives. Look for how that doula represents herself on social media – her own page and comments on posts. A social representation can help give you a look into whether or not she is a “team player” or out for her own. Look for doulas who share other doulas contact information with you – that shows that she really cares about parents getting the right fit.
Take notes during your consultation:
When you have your consultation be sure to take notes. Compile the data from all the doulas you meet and take time to review it with your husband and maybe even a trusted friend with a similar birth philosophy.
Trust your instinct:
Don’t hire someone immediately. Take time to review your notes and add a small note at the bottom after every consultation that will remind your future self what your initial instinct was about the doula. Take your initial gut instinct into account as part of your deciding factor.
Prayer:
Last, but not least, prayer! Need I say more? Pray over your list of potential doulas and allow God to be a part of your birth team from the very beginning. He is the most important person on your team and should be considered at every step.
Blessings on your doula search mamas!
With Love, Your Doula